UPDATE
Eishes Lapidus (The Rechnitz Project) has recently closed the $10,000 compensation initiative. They are now offering Shadchan services and free car rentals for qualified dates in Lakewood, NJ.
Mishpacha Magazine featured an article by Philanthropist, Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz of Los Angeles California discussing his view and approach to the age gap problem in frum circles and calling the current situation a Shidduch Catastrophe. In the article he discussed an idea to help solve the age gap and offered an incentive to marry off older girls for the upcoming year:
IDEA: Ask the boys to enter shidduchim earlier.
The standard age that yeshiva boys start dating is 23. There is a minimum of two years of learning that most learning boys do before getting involved in dating, Mr. Rechnitz suggests that these two years be deferred to after marriage and boys start dating at 20 or 21. This is to be accomplished by the roshei yeshivah who can modify the learning schedule to enable boys to finish their essential learning earlier and start dating.
INCENTIVE: Subsidize money paid to the matchmaker:
For the upcoming calendar year of 5775, Mr. Rechnitz is offering to supplement the shadchanus of anyone successful in marrying off a girl age 25 or older, to a boy her age or younger, so that they receive a total compensation of $10,000. Certain minor conditions apply. This offer isn’t only for professional shadchanim. It applies to anyone and everyone, every age, race, or gender who makes a successful Shidduch that meets the criteria.
ELIGIBILITY FOR 10,000 GRANT:
- If the shadchan sets up a couple who gets married, and IF they meet the criteria below, this initiative will ensure that they get compensated up to $10,000 (minus money received from other sources for making the shidduch).
-
To be eligible, you must submit the shidduch via the form on their website BEFORE the couple has gone on their first date
-
This is a North American initiative – the girl must live in the US, Canada, or Mexico
-
This is for Orthodox Jewish singles only.
-
The girl must be 25 or older. The boy must be the same age (within 1 year) or younger
- This has to be the girls first marriage.
- ANYONE (not just professional shadchanim) can make a shidduch and qualify for this grant.
Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz has approached the mission of marrying off all the girls in Los Angeles with the same intensity as he does for his own daughters. All the major shadchanim are aware that when any Los Angeles girl doesn’t have the funds for plane fare for a date, the shadchan can — without asking — automatically book the tickets and rental car, if necessary, for either the boy or girl, on the Rechnitz account.
In addition, any shadchan who marries off a Los Angeles girl has his shadchanus supplemented to $4,000. If the shadchan can get a couple to date at least four times, they receive $500.
GET INVOLVED:
-
Apply for Shadchan services
-
For boys coming into Lakewood, NJ to date in need of a car, Contact: Shuey Greenspan
732-569-0714 or 732-569-0719 -
Help a Yeshiva implement programs to get boys to start dating earlier
-
Encourage the matchmaking of boys and girls the same age or where the girl is older
-
Contact Rabbi Yisroel “Freddy” Friedman to discuss helping your Yeshiva implement the early dating program [email protected]
I am a rebbe in yeshiva in Eretz yisroel. B”H I just made two shiduchim for women (one from north america living in Israel, one for a woman from south africa) both over 25 with men younger than them. IY”H the chasunas are upcoming, one in november and the other in February. Am I eligible for any of the incentive from the Rechnitz foundation?
thank you
Fyvel Shuster
The Shadchanus incentive from the Rechnitz project does have “minor conditions” which have not been released yet. The monetary compensation is only for Shidduchim made in 5775 (if the suggestion was made before Rosh Hashanah we imagine it would not qualify). Mr. Rechnitz has also mentioned that the issues he is working on are exclusive to North American Yeshiva communities and therefore we would assume that any girl not from North America would not qualify. There is no official contact information for the Rechnitz Project, Rabbi Yisroel “Freddy” Friedman is Mr. Rechnitz’s head shadchan and his email address was listed as a contact for certain issues. We encourage you to reach out to Rabbi Friedman and get more information. Please message us with any updates so we can update our site and inform the public on what to expect and how to proceed.
Ending in March 2011, Star-K offered shadchanus in a similar fashion to the Rechnitz Project for Baltimore girls over the age of 22, it would be fair to assume that Mr. Rechnitz will implement similar requirements. Here are the Star-K’s qualifications for compensation:
For the shadchan of a successful shidduch to qualify for this gift, the following conditions apply:
The single woman must be at least 22-years and 2-months old at the time the engagement is announced. There is no upper age limit.
Widows and divorcees are included.
The couple must be committed to observing the laws of kashrus, Shabbos, and taharas hamishpacha.
Parents, grandparents, children, siblings, sibling-in-laws, and aunts and uncles of the single woman or man are not eligible for the gift. Cousins and other relatives who arrange a shidduch are eligible.
A Baltimore woman is defined as:
Her parents must have lived in Baltimore for one year and have purchased a house there, or have rented a dwelling there for two years. If she lives in Baltimore alone, without family, she must have lived in Baltimore for two years (student years do not count).
A Baltimorean living in New York or elsewhere, for less than two years, whose parents are presently living in Baltimore, is eligible.
Note: Effective January 1, 2010, the STAR-K award will only be paid to shadchanim who have received a minimum shadchanus fee of $1500 paid by the choson and kallah or their families. All qualifications must be met before the chasana.
Requests for payment of the Star-K gift must be made, in writing, by the shadchan to Star-K (122 Slade Avenue, Suite 300, Baltimore, MD, 21208), within 30 days of the engagement. Both sets of parents, or both the choson and kallah, must confirm who the shadchan or shadchanim are.
If more than one person was involved in the introduction of the couple, the $2,500 award will be divided amongst the parties according to traditional guidelines. For example, if one person thought of the idea and asked a professional to arrange it, the one who thought of it gets 1/3 of the shadchanus and the professional gets 2/3 of the shadchanus.
If the shidduch breaks up, chas v’shalom, before the wedding, Star-K is exempt from paying the gift.
Payment of the gift will be made by Star-K within 30 days after the chasana.
The initial introduction of the couple (i.e., the first meeting of the couple) must not have been made prior to, the first night of Chanukah, 5770 (December 11, 2009).
All disputes, e.g., who is the shadchan, questions regarding eligibility, etc., will be settled by Star-K Rabbinic Administrator, Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, shlita, whose decision will be final.
Does anyone know who to contact in order to claim shadchanus?
The Rechnitz Project has announced that they will be putting up a website within the next 2 weeks for people to apply for the compensation.
Please clarify the reason for the requirement of the initaitive that asks for the names of the couple before the first date. It is inappropriate for anyone to ask for the names of the couple before they date. Privacy is a concept in the shidduch process that should not be taken lightly. It is no one’s business to know who is going out with who until it results in an engagement. The internet is a prime place for private information to go public, and that is how you have set up this thoughtful but misdirected shidduch initiative. This requirement is insensitive to the privacy of those singles struggling to find their zivug.
Are girls from europe and the poor yidden from yerushalayim worth less than american rich girls. I would suggest helping only girls based on the parents salary.
I am wondering if anyone can respond to Mrs. R. Kaufman,
Why would a shadchan have to state both the girl and the boys name before they even start dating, perhaps you can have the shadchan state either the girl or the boys name.
I am trying to do a shidduch for a girl I know, however, each time I want to set her up I have to reapply?
Can’t I just apply say once in a couple of months just the girls name and that would qualify for any shidduch I would finish with that particular girl?
Thanks
(I would like to stay anon, hence my email address)
Wanted to find out if a couple going out tonight for first date could be eligible for the 10,000. She is 27 and His is 28. They both could use the money
to start out their marriage if it works out with Hashem’s help. I set them up and don’t want the money. Thank you so much!! Jill Kapenstein
The Rechnitz Project eligibility states “The girl must be 25 or older. The boy must be the same age (within 1 year) or younger”. You would need to enter the couples information before they go out on http://eisheslapidus.com/
Does chassidisher shiduchim qualify
Mazel Tov. I just made a shidduch last night. Chosen 26, Kalla 25.
I did not notify the Aishes Lapidus, prior to the dating. Can I still get compensated?
To be eligible for the program you need to submit the names before they go out. You can contact Eishes Lapidus directly if you would like to inquire further. http://eisheslapidus.com/
congratulation. amazing. continue with more if you have the talent. dont give up.
Just a suggestion. why dont they offer 6k for a shidduch of a older girl and boy, and 10k for in the same year. the reason for the 6kis, ultimatly our goal is to marry off older single girls
meaning boy and girl within the same year birthdate
Sir, I thank you and offer my most sincere gratitude for the great deed of buying 400 service men lunch .. God bless
I filled out there form months ago and like all shidduch services no one ever responded.
Its seems to me that the upper hand is the issue.
The Yeshivish boy knows that he has the ability to pick and choose, and so he does.
The Chasidish girls know that they can afford to be picky, and so they are.
The yeshivish girl has to work harder to be unique and be a cut above the rest, to get a good boy.
The Chasidish boy needs to learn 15 hours a day to to deemed a catch.
SOLUTION:
Pair the yeshivish girl with a chasidish boy.
This would undermine the superiority factor and level the playing field by removing ego from the zivug equation
I see all of you shrugging and shaking your heads “it’ll never work”
Why not?
There are only some minor details some good some bad
Yeshivish girls would have to adjust to the husband levush, not so bad in EY many litivishe (R’ Elyashuv) wore a bekeshe and shtriemal
Yeshivish girls may need to learn Yiddish (nebech)
Yeshivish girls may have to wear shorter shietals (easier to care for)
BUT
Yeshivish girls would not have to be responsible for parnassa all their life, chasidim have no problem working.
Yeshivish girls would NOT have to put up with their husband getting stone drunk on Purim,
Yeshivish girls would not have to fast most Tanaysim (tisha b’av and Yom kippur only)
Yeshivish girls would have a baal midos of a husband who knows how to take care of kids
Yeshivish girls would get married! Chasidim have no issues with an older girl, and are not into “looks that much.
Achaynu Bnei Yisroel! What counts is ones Midos, we all know that. Please live it.
What is the 5778 incentive